To The Person Who Has Bigger Dreams Than The Typical Life

Six months ago I moved from Philadelphia to Dallas. Through this process, I have never needed more faith and I’ve never been happier. Needless to say, it has been crazy, exciting, and terrifying the past six months. Since moving, every hour is jam packed, every day is different, and every week brings a new adventure. I know that I am sitting in the Lord’s will and I feel that I am truly starting to tap into the purpose God has for me.

You see ever since I was a little girl I wanted to do something big with my life. I desired to be married and be a wife but I want something beyond that as well. I want to leave a legacy and want my life to count. I’m not satisfied with what is normal. I have huge dreams and am sold out to God’s calling on my life.

Can you relate? If so keep reading because I want to share a few pieces of advice.

  1. Find Then Follow Your Vision – You may be in a season right now where you are searching for your purpose. Don’t take this season for granted. God has not forgotten you, rather you have been set apart. For a few years, I waited as my dreams and passions developed because I also knew that I wasn’t ready to know how they were going to be mapped out. Everyone has a vision for their life. If you were born into this life, God has a vision for you. The key is you need to seek it. Be active in seeking it. Many ignore the vision or settle. We are called to greatness therefore we need to strive for it.

2 Chronicles 16:9a says, “For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.”

Devote yourself to seeking the Lords vision for your life. Once your call is revealed follow that dream no matter the circumstances

  1. Be Teachable – It’s almost laughable at how many mistakes I have made. When our team gets together we have conversations like, “Member the time when Katie…” then someone else will say, “Oh my goodness I remember when Katie did…” Even though I have been corrected, made mistakes, and have not always made the right call, I have made it a point to be teachable. We can look back and laugh about some of the crazy stories over the years because I have since learned from them.

REMEMBER: While it is awesome to have huge dreams and a major vision, please know, you do not                   know everything. Eat some humble pie, admit when you are wrong, and seek Godly counsel. I have been           blessed where I am constantly being poured into from people who will shoot straight with me. Because of           that I am able to mentor and pour into others. Unfortunately, you can end up being the biggest drawback           to your dreams. If you make a mistake, don’t let insecurity keep you from pressing on. It’s okay!! In fact,           correction is a GOOD THING because it is through that we learn.

Proverbs 12:1 tells us straight up, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.”

  1. Be Expectant –Faith is seriously one of my FAVORITE things to talk about!! It’s a major game changer. It will happen in the Lord’s timing so until then stand bold, stand firm, and do not waver. I have a list of things I am praying for and am expectant about. Think of an expectant mother. She is expectant because she can feel the baby and knows that the baby will eventually be born. Today, be expectant that God will give birth to your prayers!

Mark 11:24 says, “Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.” You need to be expectant by having faith in your prayers! If you aren’t going to expect what you pray about, why pray at all?

My challenge for you today is be hard core about all the desires, passions, and dreams for your life. Seek what the Lord wants, be teachable, and be expectant. Never settle, but rather, be buck wild about it. Doing this will be the best decision you make. I am living proof of it.

-Katie Dewan


Each Punch, Each Stride, Each Step

So, I’ve been solidly single for ten years.

Oh, sure, I’ve dated a few guys and been on a few dates here and there, but I am still solidly single. Such a prolonged single season has really rocked my faith in God and my sense of worth so that I’ve had to practice self-control.

Self-control is one of those concepts that I know is a fruit of the Spirit:  love, joy, peace, patience, etc., etc. and SELF-CONTROL.  But, I always thought of self-control as being more of a theory than a practical virtue to be practiced and maintained until I needed self-control in my singleness desperately.  At some point in my late 20s, I realized my thoughts were being controlled by fear and disbelief instead of faith.  My sense of worth was crippled because I thought I was less than because I wasn’t married, so that negative thought pattern determined my belief about myself.  Here’s the thing:  God doesn’t say that everyone is going to be married at 21, so it takes self-control to not surrender to disbelief, doubting that God has a plan during the period of waiting.  And He does have a plan.

Self-control is mandatory if we are going to live lives that are pleasing to our God.  Paul said in I Corinthians 9:24-27 that everyone who competes in athletic and spiritual competitions exercises SELF-CONTROL in ALL THINGS.  The athletes he referenced were Greeks who trained their mind and bodyfor ten months to concentrate on winning their unique competition.  He compares our individual, God-given destiny to running a race or boxing with aim, so that each punch, each stride, each step of your life is focused at a the target of God’s purpose.  Paul disciplined his body so that he would not be disqualified because he relented to immorality, sensuality, anger, jealousy, strife, etc.   I’ve almost been prey to letting the same “deeds of the flesh” disqualify ME from my God-ordained destiny, until I realized that “it was for freedom that Christ set us free” so I didn’t have to clothe myself daily in my old sins, habits, and thought patterns – I was and am free because of Jesus.

Sexual sin, lust, and negativity may be what our culture permits and even encourages in singleness, but we cannot live effective lives for the glory of God if we let our bodily passions and minds run the show.

Keep your mind strong in the power of GodPractice self-control. He has set a race before you that only you, in whatever relational season of life, can run with boldness and courage.


QUITE YOUR SOUL — Worship Song:  “No Longer Slaves” by Jonathan and Melissa Helser.

“I’m no longer a slave to fear – I am a child of God.”

BE ENCOURAGED — Read these Scriptures:

I Corinthians 9:24-27–“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize?  Run in such a way that you may win.  Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things.  They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.  Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.”

Galtians 5:1It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

DIG DEEPER — Life Evaluating Questions: 

  1. Evaluate your mind. Do you control your thoughts or do they control you?  What thought patterns have you allowed to dictate your worth?
  2. Identify areas in your life over which you need to control yourself. Pray over these weaknesses, allowing God to strengthen you in His power and truth
  3. Pray over yourself and for your God-given, unique purpose. What does God want YOU to accomplish with your talents and gifts for the kingdom of God, regardless of your relationship season?


-Heather Carey


God’s Plan > My Plan

 Great things never came out of comfort zones. 

This is a quote that I have heard repeatedly within the last couple years, and for some reason, it has really stuck with me. I have been crawling my way out of my many comfort zones for the last several years and to be honest, it is downright scary sometimes. There is a passage within the book of Isaiah that I have always clung to and it is in chapter 41:10-13.

            “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

            I have clung to this passage for several years because of the peace that it has brought when worry, doubt, anxiety, and fear have consumed me in various circumstances. I have recently graduated college, but I can recall my sophomore year so clearly. Having already changed my major twice by the fall semester, I was beginning to feel the pressure of getting my life together. People always tell you college is the best years of your life, but at that point I was beginning to wonder what the heck I was doing. So as I sat in my education major classes and felt absolutely no passion for the work I was doing, I knew I needed to change my major (yet again). I felt like I was going through a quarter life crisis–people have those right? I began combing the degree completion plans to see if anything really fit me. I dreaded to tell my parents because after all, they were paying for me to get a degree in something. I didnt want them to think I was wasting their hard earned dollars. I began to pray, and pray, and pray. I begged for answers because I honestly just wanted to know the direction the Lord wanted me to go.

            It was uncomfortable. The not knowing what I was doing and the struggle of wondering whether I should stick it out haunted me. Throughout the process of praying and waiting on the Lord for the next step, I realized that the only reason I truly wanted to teach was because I thought there was security in it. I thought that at least when I would graduate I would know exactly what job I was looking for. Crawling out of this comfort zone was difficult. I had to let go of my idea of job security and embrace the Lords right hand in this season of my life and allow him to show me the path He wanted for me, not the one I was trying to force.

            From a young age, I had loved art. I enjoyed arts and crafts at camp and I liked doodling and drawing. While I never took many art classes in school I took one in high my senior year and loved it. I never considered a degree in the arts because I did not think one could make a decent living out of it. Looking back now, I see how foolish I was to put God in a box. I stepped out of the comfort zone of the major I felt was correct and into the unknown major of Graphic Design. My family was a little skeptical at first, especially since this was my third major. I cant say I blamed them, but I felt the Lords presence over the whole circumstance. It was scary to step into a brand new degree plan and start all over. It was scary to step into something that I felt no real security in. That being said, it was comforting to know I had stepped into something that I felt the Lords hand all over. Just as the Lord says in end of that passage, Do not fear; I will help you He helped me in the same way.

            That was two years ago. I had never used a Mac computer, and didnt even know how to turn it on in my first class. I had no idea about photography, or hand lettering, or what the Adobe programs were. All I knew was that the Lord had put me in this degree program and wanted me there. Now as a recent college graduate with a degree in Graphic Design and job that uses those skills I am grateful. I am grateful for the Lords provision. I am grateful for his prodding to step out of a comfort zone and into the unknown because it didnt just change my degree path, it change my life.


-Molly Hitch



God Told Me No

Recently, a huge opportunity came up for me in life. It was going to be a game changer and, in my eyes, fix a lot of my problems. I was nervous to see what this major change would bring, but was excited to see the possibilities and benefits that would come from it.

A couple weeks had gone by and I was extremely close to it coming true. I had a big meeting with whom the opportunity was involved with. As I was waiting for the meeting to start I prayed this prayer to the Lord:

               “God, I know this is a huge opportunity. I know that in my temporal mind this seems like a perfect plan and such an exciting thing. With that Lord, I pray that you only give me this if it is in your plan for me. God, I only want this if You want this for me. Please be so clear that I know without a shadow of a doubt this is the direction You want me to take. Show me Your will God! My heart is yearning for You to show me. Amen.”

Some time had passed and everything was lining up. My mindset, my planning, and my schedule were all in preparation for this opportunity. To spare you the time, some crazy, unheard thing took place which made no sense to the people who were praying for me.

I had gotten my answer from the Lord and He told me a clear “NO”.

The circumstances made no sense. I called one of the team members from The Blush Network staff and he said, “Well, isn’t that what you prayed for? You told God to make it clear to you if He wants you to pursue something else.” I was disappointed, but knew from so many circumstances in my life God has something else for me.

Now… Am I saying that when you receive a hard answer or news to just suck it up and put on a smile? Absolutely not. You WILL be disappointed and it will take you a minute to refocus your thoughts.

Here are a couple things that I suggest you to write down or remember when you are in that spot:

1. Be expectant.

  • When God says “no” to something that means He has a “yes” to something else. Therefore, when you receive a “no”, be waiting for a “yes” and expect it SOON! If you are praying for it, the Lord hears you and He answers!! The Promised Land is right around the corner. “In the day when I cried out, You answered me and made me bold with strength in my soul.” Psalm 138:3

2. A “No” is not punishment but rather redirection from the Lord.

  • If you get a “no” from God, we can actually be thankful that we are in His will and He is directing our lives. By God redirecting us, He is stepping in and taking hold of the situation. In the moment it will feel confusing or you may feel worried, but that is the exact time when we can hold onto what God has promised us.

3. Be aware of your mind

  • This is something I constantly have to make sure is in check! When in a time of transition, in a season of change, or when waiting for an answer from the Lord we need to hold onto the thought of what the Lord says about us. Our thoughts are where the temptation to take things into our own hands and to distrust what God is doing come from. The #1 way to keep your thoughts in check is to always spend ample time with the Lord, especially if you are seeking Him for answers. If your mind is spinning and you are feeling overwhelmed, prayer and God’s word will be your best remedies. “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I”- Psalm 61:2

In this particular story, God told me “no.” But He is making His redirection and purpose for it clear. Jesus is absolutely everything. If you are seeking Him, I know He will do the same for you, sweet reader.


-Katie Dewan



All the Single Ladies

As little girls, we dream of our wedding day and what it will one day look like. When we get older, we begin to dream bigger and pin date night ideas, engagement photos, and wedding décor ideas on Pinterest–even when we’re still single! It is a fun and exciting moment to imagine for yourself, but can also get in the way of what the Lord is trying to teach you while you are single.

The constant desire for a relationship gets in the way of allowing the Lord to move in this unique season of your life.

We get so distracted and discouraged when we see all of our friends on social media posting about new dating relationships, engagements, wedding pictures, and even new additions to their families. Instead of being excited for our friends and their new phase of life, we get discouraged about our singleness—WHY?! Don’t get me wrong, I am in the same boat as the rest of you single ladies, as I too get discouraged and feel out of loop: not good enough, pretty enough, etc.  We begin to believe the enemy’s lies, and doubt ourselves and the plan God has for our lives.

Singleness is a time to work on you as an individual, and LEARN, LEARN, LEARN! It is a time for you to work on your spiritual walk with the Lord, and make it stronger and more intimate. In this season, you can learn patience, complete trust in the Lord, and acquire godly wisdom.

I am 23, have only dated once–my freshman year in high school–and am still single! My relationship with the Lord has become stronger, more in-depth, and more intimate than ever before.  He has been using this time to teach me to be more reliant on Him, to not waste valuable time worrying about “what ifs”, to be patient and to grow my faith in the Lord and His timing, as well as the person. He has taught me that this time of singleness is not a time to waste, but to be used, as He has opened so many doors.

He has used this time to grow and stretch me. He took me out of my comfort zone to teach me to become vulnerable in sharing my testimony with others, to encourage them with overcoming past hurts and trials. He has given me a new confidence and a new perspective because I looked to God during this time of singleness, rather than taking matters into my own hands and heart’s desires.

You’ve been told: “trust God’s timing.” While you may have understood this to be a cliché to describe the most miserable waiting game of your life, think of it this way: “Why would you rush God’s perfect preparation?

We always think that we are ready for a relationship, but, in reality, we probably are not. The Lord may be teaching and growing our future husband in their spiritual walk, and is waiting until he becomes the godly man He has desired to give us. The same goes for us, the Lord may be working in us still in becoming godly women for our future husbands, and, therefore, we are still single.

A few wise words I have received during my time of singleness have been:

“A man can never complete or fulfill you, he can only complement you.”

“Don’t you want to pursue God as much as you pursue a relationship?”

“If we don’t work on having an intimate relationship with God while we are single, how is that going to change when we are in a relationship?”

We get distracted with the desire to be in relationship and lose focus on the most important relationship of them all, the one with God that can fulfill and complete us. Our time of singleness is a time to be used by God in a unique way, and we should be encouraged by this.

Remember you are not the only one who struggles with singleness. Use this time to encourage one another, form new friendships, accountability partners, and a time to seek The Lord like never before. Allow God to use you during this time, as He will make you stronger and give you a new perspective as He continues to teach you!

“A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.” — Maya Angelou

–Natalie M.


A Day in the Life of Junior High Me

I was thirteen, in seventh grade, and felt a sense that I just didn’t belong. My hair was breaking off. I had just hit puberty, and had acne like CRAZY! My self-esteem was so low it was sickening. I hated myself. I hated the way I looked, and I was taking it out on everyone; especially the ones who loved me, my parents.

No one wanted to be my friend. A boyfriend? Ha! Please! Forget about that.

I just wanted someone, other than my parents. to love me, but no one did. WHY?!

In March of 2003, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wasn’t getting along with my parents. I couldn’t find peace at home or school. So, one night after a big argument with my mom and dad, I went to my room and closed the door, hoping to never have to open it again. In one of the corners of my room laid a picture that had fallen, and its broken glass. I picked up the longest piece and put it to my wrist. I wanted to bleed out. I wanted  to feel the pain, because I was sure it didn’t feel as bad as what I was going through. At the time, I was wearing a gold cross around my neck that had been given to me by my mother.

Moments before I made the first cut, the necklace fell from my neck, in front of me onto the carpet. I remember, at first, staring at it, and then beginning to weep. That’s when I knew I needed Christ.

Once aware of this, I went to my mother, asking to go to church. We were invited to a church by a friend of my mother.  Soon, we were going to church every Sunday, and I got involved with the youth ministry. During one of our youth plays, an invitation was given, and I presented an outpour to God telling him that with Him is where I wanted to be. With that, I gave my life to Christ.

Since accepting Christ, I would be lying if I said that life has been a cakewalk. Dealing with our sin nature is never an easy task, but my journey towards spiritual growth has been awesome.

I must admit that I have slowed a lot of my own progress because I wanted to do my own thing, or got myself distracted over someone or something that had no relevance in my life.

One of the things that I love about God, though, is that He never makes you start over, but simply presses play from where you left off.

I dedicate this blog to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for bringing me so far. As I fight back tears writing this, I know that you’re not done with me, and have so much more in store for years to come.

—Day M.


Why, God? Trust in Tragedy

Your best friend just found out she has cancer and has a year left to live.

You broke up with your boyfriend because you found out he was cheating on you.

You see news about ISIS and watch innocent children die.

Your parents are fighting and might get a divorce.

You hear about how abortion has wiped out a whole generation.

There is worry about Ebola spreading.

You are barely scraping by with finances and just found out that you got laid off.

You see tsunamis and earthquakes demolish whole countries and flatten towns.

You hear about shootings in schools.

You are struggling with keeping your grades up.

Other people make fun of you and you start to question if you are worthy of love.

There’s sickness, death, abuse, broken relationships, infidelity, crime, sorrows, regrets, injuries, discontentment and heartache.

How can a loving God let all of this happen?

There is no simple answer to this question. It’s hard for us to understand sometimes why God lets certain things happen. One thing we must not forget is that this world is NOT our home. Jesus is coming to restore the brokenness and there will be a day when there are no more tears or pain—only joy! God’s plan is perfect and He is always good. It is our job to TRUST  IN HIM alone—even when our circumstances get tough because He is orchestrating every detail of our lives for His glory. He, alone, can see the big picture.

Andy Rau, author and blogger for Biblegateway.com explains it perfectly:

“So when tragedy strikes, as it will; when suffering comes, as it will; when you’re wrestling with pain, as you will – and when you make the choice to run into His arms, here’s what you’re going to discover: you’ll find peace to deal with the present, you’ll find courage to deal with your future, and you’ll find the incredible promise of eternal life in heaven.”

So, we can decide whether to turn bitter or turn to the God of peace for comfort and courage. Our suffering will pale in comparison to what God has in store for His children!

Psalm 46:1-3:

“God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.”

–Karinna J.


Seeking His Will

Traveling back from the West to the East Coast on Sunday night, I had a lot of time to think. My wife and I had just been in Northern California for my little brother’s wedding, which was a great moment for our entire family. We had then stayed at my parent’s house the next week and the normalcy of my other sibling’s life and the things happening in our marriage started me thinking about prayer.


What is prayer? Is it an empty conversation to a god that is not present or listening? Is praying for a meal in public just an outward message to people in a restaurant that you are a “Good Christian?”Could prayer be much more than all of the previously mentioned questions and hold the key to a relationship with God?


My wife and I have been living on the east coast for a little over a year now and I am feeling the pull to get back onto the west coast to be closer to family and other loved ones. I could easily put ourselves into some serious trouble, by putting the entire move on a credit card and go today, but I want to make sure that Christ is at the center of the decision my wife and I would make. Speaking with a very close friend of mine, he suggested prayer; I knew he was right.


We had made other decisions in our life together and only through prayer and speaking with our Heavenly Father did we find rest and peace in those decisions. He said I needed to pick a specific time and daily go to God with my hopes, fears, and questions. He said I needed to get on my face and ask for God to show Himself and His will to me. One of the stories in the bible that we talked about was Moses, when Moses went up Mount Sinai and spoke with God for the people of Israel he did not come off that mountain till he had an answer from God and I wasn’t coming off this mountain till I had my answer either.


Never growing up where I was raised to pray like this made me quite anxious I don’t really know what it looks like to be on my face before God. What do I say? What if I say something wrong? Then I remembered Philippians 4:6: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”


I began the morning after speaking with my friend I got up at 5am and I walked out into our living room got down on my knees and then bowed down and was on my face. At first this seemed strange for me, I had prayed many times and had felt like God had worked in our lives before, but I had never been on my face before so why do I need to do this now. I began telling God what my hopes for my life were, where I felt like I had gone wrong with decisions of career, and questions of what I could do to change where we were at in that moment.


I didn’t hear anything, but I got up the next morning and got on my face again and went to the Lord in prayer. I did this morning after morning for a week, at the end of the week we received an email from a family member knowing what we were going through asked us to layout our priorities for our lives and pray over them and when we are done praying, seek wise counsel and then pray again. I can tell you that I began to feel a sense of peace about where we felt like the Lord was leading, now we are continuing to pray over decisions and asking God to continue to reveal His will for our lives, but first and foremost we want Him in the center of those decisions.


We can only have him at the center of those decisions if we are seeking His will through prayer and time in His word.


I challenge you, dear friends if you are struggling with something, do not be anxious in decisions that need to be made; instead, boldly pray for what you are asking for and God will provide all your needs.


– Chad Homesley


Purpose for Your Delay

This summer I was challenged about why I hate waiting for things so much and I am going to go out on a very short limb when I say that I am not the only one struggling with this. A little background from that day, what should have been a fun day of sleeping in, going out to breakfast and packing for our trip home, quickly turned very sour. My husband and I spent most of the day bickering and snapping at one another over stupid things like snap comments and facial expressions. It all culminated as we made our drive to our temporary church home for the summer. What had been small back & forth all day turned very ugly & major (to the point where I dropped an awful word to him and we walked separately into church). We coldly sat next to each other, my husband glared forward without singing a single song or looking at me for the next 75 minutes.

During that sermon though God spoke to both of us about several things. It personally convicted both of us. So much of what our pastor, Leonce Crump II, shared spoke so personally to our struggle with infertility over the last 13 years but equally to the heartache & frustration of waiting.

The church has been working through the book of John for the last two years and that night we started Chapter 11:1-16 the story of Lazarus. I know we have read/heard this story a million times but if it’s been a while, go read that now. What he shared with us that night helped me to pay special attention to verse 6. At this point in the story we know that Jesus has a special relationship & cares deeply for this family. It even says that He LOVES Lazarus. So why then, knowing that he is dying does Jesus choose to wait two additional days before going to him? Here are the notes I wrote down as well as some things I learned… stick with me…

  1. Christ allowed Lazarus to die so that He would be glorified as well to help the disciples understand that God allowing us to go through difficulties isn’t Him distancing Himself from us but allowing our lives to shine Glory on Him
  2. Often God will be glorified in and through our most despair-inducing trials
  3. Though it’s difficult for us to accept & understand, a delay from the Lord is often a display of His love

Why then do we reject His delay in our despair?

  1. We fear pain
  2. Our idolatry and worship of being comfortable
  3. Our story, how we endure it, and God’s ultimate intervention in it, is often what leads other’s to faith
  4. God’s glory is revealed even in hardship and trial, His love displayed even when we feel that His answer is delayed

So how do we move beyond the thought above towards understanding and trust?

  1. Confess to God our fears & failures to believe and trust Him and in Him
  2. Ask God to give you the faith to view:

–    His glory more than our comfort

–    Peace to wait for His answer to the delay

 I realized those are the notes that stuck out to me and not all of them may speak to you about your struggles, but what I can say is something that I learned over the last few years. I had to become ok with a few ideas

  1. I was allowed to process my emotions (anger, despair, grief, loss…) at & with God. There have been a ton of times where I was sobbing, yelling, begging, pleading and mourning in prayer to God. I had to learn that I could trust Him to take each of those emotions. He has taken on a lot worse and would not be angry at me for being real with Him.
  2. I had to come to a point with God where I could say “even if I never have children of my own” For so many years I was afraid to even say those words. I would say “God, whatever is in your will” hoping that it would never be in His will for us to not have kiddos because I was doing everything “right” What I was really doing though was not placing my trust in Him because I didn’t believe He would really give me what I wanted most. I thought I was giving God an out but really I was giving myself an out. Thinking that if I said “His will” and we didn’t have kiddos than my disappointment would have a purpose.
  3. I had to change my thought process about what my life is doing now. I know this part sucks. When we are in the midst of pain and torture of despair the last thing we want to do is use what we are going through to glorify God. However that is what Christ shows a perfect example of through the story of Lazarus. By waiting and allowing him to die, He was able to show His power over sickness and death. He showed that our timelines mean little to Him since He is the author of time and has all control over all things, including time. So I could either sit in my frustration and pain alone or I could push through the uncomfortable and see what God would do with me and the story He designed for His glory.
  4. I had to learn how to start processing my feelings differently. I had to look at what I was believing about God’s character every time I was processing anger, what did I believe when I was feeling the loss every time someone else would tell me they were pregnant. Which in my world was happening 6-8 people at a time. I often believed the lies that God had too much on His plate to care about me and my issues, after all I could see Him working for everyone else around me, just not me. I went to lies that He was mad at me for my past behavior and choices. I struggle with lies that He didn’t want me to have kids. I had to REPLACE each of those lies with truth about who He really is. I found scriptures that specifically spoke about His goodness to His children. I started looking at the bible not as individual stories to help me but as many examples of God’s people failing Him, and God pursuing them to rescue them. Not because He had to but because every time He pursued them and rescued them He was given glory. If He didn’t care about them, if He didn’t care about us, it would be easy to wipe out generations but instead He loves us, He pursues us and He rescues us.

While you can find ways to satisfy that thing you are waiting for and that may give you what you want temporarily, God has a different plan in mind for you. He has a purpose for your delay. While it’s hard to understand His reasons and purpose for the delay, we have to learn to trust Him no matter the length, intensity, and pain of the delay.

I know that this was long. I know that there may be parts of it or the whole of it that may have been uncomfortable to read or maybe felt like they didn’t apply to you but that message from our Pastor and the things I have learned through my own delay felt like they needed to be shared with you!!!

-Lisa Homesley